Monday, June 06, 2011

comments on the cheating post

Well I did have a bit more to say about the linked cheating post below.

It's pretty clear what he should do given

  • only 28 years old
  • only married two years
  • no kids
oh yeah, and that other thing

  • she cheated on him

So yeah, ditch her and her new boyfriend and good riddance to her.

But whatever. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Husband has decided to take her back for whatever reason. That's his [bad] life choice and he gets to live with the result of that decision. And will he ever regret that in the years ahead. Poor guy.

So did they actually cheat or was it just the three quick kisses (not even making out!) and some inappropriate texts and emails?

Fedorfan nails it
This thread reminds me of a joke I heard once:

So a guy suspects his wife is cheating on him for odd behavior that clearly suggest cheating, so he hires a private investigator to look into it and gather more conclusive evidence. After a week the detective reports back to the husband - And informs him that on multiple occasions he followed his wife to a local hotel where she would meet up with the same guy, they would have a few drinks at the hotel bar and head up together to a room in the hotel, and from the outside of the hotel the PI took pictures of them entering the hotel room and presented them to the husband, and then shortly after the wife would close the curtains in the hotel room...
At this point the husband interrupts the PI and says "Damn curtains, see that's what I'm talking about! the evidence always ends up being so inconclusive..."

This text exchange too
golf pro: want to meet for a quickie?
cheating wife: can't today. off to the gym

Sure maybe I'm not an expert on sexting and all the nuances of communication. But I'm sure there is no way two people who are not already in an established ongoing physical relationship would have that text exchange. That's not some dreamy, chanel  #5, harlequin romance fantasy. That's a day to day real life fact exchange.

His entire thesis hinges on his repeated assertion that it was logistically impossible for his wife and golf pro to have been alone together long enough to have an encounter during the 4 month affair. Let's suspend disbelief for a moment and set aside that he was out of town on several multi-day business trips during her affair, that they could have gone to a motel room during their respective lunch hours at work, that they could have snuck off during the 4 hours it takes to play a round of golf, that instead of going to the "gym" she could have just as easily went to meet him somewhere.

Let's forget all that and look at it logically. Husband, do you really believe that: during a 4 month period, two highly motivated adults, in close geographic proximity, with vehicles, with private secure mobile smartphone communication, who were in contact every single day throughout the day. That in this situation that over four months they were unable to arrange to meet up somewhere for 30-120 minutes at least once?

I just feel so bad for the guy. The contemporary beta male.

Nagged into getting engaged.
His two year marriage is a disaster from the start and already sexless (at least for him).
And now this. She decides her needs weren't being sufficiently met so she is having an affair.

And instead of cutting his losses and leaving this cancer of a woman (after all no debt, no kids) instead this guy is so discouraged, so whipped, so weak, that his response to the nightmare his life has turned into is to just shrug and accept this as his fate. When the door lies open for him to walk right out!

What a life. Gets her the ring and the wedding (that she nagged and pushed for). Buys her the oversized suburban house that she picked out (close to her family and friends of course). At every turn for the last three years at least she has been coddled and accommodated and allowed to have her own way. And then she shows her appreciation for everything he did, all the sacrifice he made, by announcing that she is unhappy and has an affair with a sleazy golf pro. And still he stays, sigh.

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